They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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