I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize