Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
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my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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