oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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