Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have peed in a lot of sinks
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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