is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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