Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
