Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
