Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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