i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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