i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
