either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
