if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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