New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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