just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
