I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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