:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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