He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize