okay pat passed out under dana's car
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
