It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
