Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
