is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
