on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
