oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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