You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
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The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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