just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize