I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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