I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize