K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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