She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
