well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
