I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
