Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The uberlube is also flammable
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
