Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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