there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
