i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
