Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
