i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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