He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
