I wish I could punch you in the face.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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