I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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