Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
