i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
