Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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