I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
