you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well you can't waste a boner
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
