nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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