I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
