you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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