I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
