Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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