I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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