Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize