Your tits are I can't wait for
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
