Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
