Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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