also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize