i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
