He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
