i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize