At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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